Past relationships always keep you wondering. What If? Is the BIG question. But it is not really the question I have been asking myself. The question is do I love Omar the way Reshad loved me?
Reshad. First boyfriend. Never kissed. Held hands ONCE, hugged ONCE. If you haven't guessed yet, yes it was in junior high. When we were in the 6th Grade I found out he was totally in love with me (if we even knew what that meant at the age of 11) but anyways, I did like, he was prettttty cute. So my best friend told him I liked him and he asked me out. I was estatic that someone actually liked me, I just didn't realize how much. I never called him, never went online to talk to him... nothing. So mid-summer we "broke up". Fast Foward to September, he saw me in school and said he missed me (online) and so our relationship started again. He was the one going after me, I could bitch and complain about everything and he would always let me. He didn't care as long as I was his girlfriend. He wanted to please me. Isn't that what every girl wanted? I guess it wasn't good enough for me, cause our relationship endend in four months (as i recall)
You see. I never really cared to "be" with. My body never ached to be next him. My lips never yearned to touch his. My heart and soul never felt incomplete whenever he wasn't there.
I think thats why karma is getting back at me. The way I treated Reshad is the way Omar treats me. Maybe not to that extent but enough to make me regret ever hurting the first boy that ever loved me.
Reshad. First boyfriend. Never kissed. Held hands ONCE, hugged ONCE. If you haven't guessed yet, yes it was in junior high. When we were in the 6th Grade I found out he was totally in love with me (if we even knew what that meant at the age of 11) but anyways, I did like, he was prettttty cute. So my best friend told him I liked him and he asked me out. I was estatic that someone actually liked me, I just didn't realize how much. I never called him, never went online to talk to him... nothing. So mid-summer we "broke up". Fast Foward to September, he saw me in school and said he missed me (online) and so our relationship started again. He was the one going after me, I could bitch and complain about everything and he would always let me. He didn't care as long as I was his girlfriend. He wanted to please me. Isn't that what every girl wanted? I guess it wasn't good enough for me, cause our relationship endend in four months (as i recall)
You see. I never really cared to "be" with. My body never ached to be next him. My lips never yearned to touch his. My heart and soul never felt incomplete whenever he wasn't there.
I think thats why karma is getting back at me. The way I treated Reshad is the way Omar treats me. Maybe not to that extent but enough to make me regret ever hurting the first boy that ever loved me.
